the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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