She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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