i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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