omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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