i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
