I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
