I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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