Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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