This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
