I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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