Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
