obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
