so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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