All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
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