I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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