Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
