I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
