Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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