Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
