I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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