i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
