If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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