clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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