i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
