dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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