I hate your face
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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