I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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