its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
