we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
