I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
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He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
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I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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