I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
