I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
