I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
