So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
