I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
