And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.