He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
