I feel like I'm in dance class right now
True but thats because hes a fetus.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
