i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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