Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
