i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
