I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
