You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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