I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
