dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
