CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
