I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
