Small penises have feelings too.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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