we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
