It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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