So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
