508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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