How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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