Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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