i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
