Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
