bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
