Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
