she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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