I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
People in love make me want to vomit
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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