i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
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I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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