there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize